Gaslighting is a terrible emotional abuse tactic that you hear narcissists do to those with whom they are in the closest contact as they do that also to their families and partners. However, subtle signs of gaslighting can seem innocent and can make you think it is not at all happening. And the thing is with gaslighting, you may not even notice it happening at all since it is hard to see and at the same time confusing. However, if you are doubting yourself constantly and wondering if a relationship you have is worth it, then you may need to open up to the idea that you are being gaslighted. Let’s talk about the key signs that you are being gaslighted.
You Are Told To Seek Counseling When You Really Are Fine
If a friend, a partner, or a family member is gaslighting you, they may tell you that you have psychological issues wrong with you and that you need to see a professional about them. It may seem like a well-meaning thing to say, but if there is nothing to really indicate that you need to see a therapist, then why are they suggesting that you see one? They are making you think there is something wrong with you when there isn’t. That is a red flag there.
They Tell You Terrible Things Others Say About You
If someone who you are close to is gaslighting you, they may be telling you that others who have gossiped about you are saying negative things about you to others. And when you react understandably upset when you hear this news, they tell you that you are overreacting or that you are too sensitive. That is also gaslighting. They are doing this to ruin your relationships and to make you doubt yourself since they are making you think you are sensitive when they tell you these things.
They Prevent You From Moving Forward In Your Life
If you plan to move to another school, start a business, or take courses to improve your skills so you can get a promotion, the one who is close to you is telling you that you should not do that and presents some obstacles to you, then that is also a form of gaslighting. For instance, your mother who is known to gaslight you tells you that you should never move out of town to school because her health is bad, or needs you to stick around to help for one reason or another. Therefore, they purposely keep you stuck.
They Tell You That You Are Wrong When You Are Right
When someone gaslights you, they make you doubt yourself and one key thing they do is make you believe you are wrong when you know you are right. That happens when you say you remember something that happened and you tell the one who is gaslighting you into believing that you were wrong and it never happened. Or, they may present you with a false thing that happened in the past that you know did not happen, and they tell you that you may be ending up with dementia since you are not “remembering” it.
The thing to also remember is that those who are gaslighting you will never take responsibility for their behavior and will keep making you doubt yourself and make you even believe that you are crazy. But once you find out that they are the ones who have been playing with you all along, and you prove it to them, they will keep denying it and will never take any responsibility for it. The best thing to do if you can is to go no contact with them, or at the most, limit contact. You need peace and you need validation.